What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 01:12
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
What is the most inappropriate thing your wife has done in front of you?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Make Nazis afraid again!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
When you visit a store, do you go to shop or buy?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
What can you do if someone makes a false accusation against you?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
TEXT:
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!